It has been some time since I have blogged. More crap has happened than the norm. We have all been there just when you think that you have reached a point of return you stick your head out of your hole like a prairie dog and then you are hit by a SUV. The SUV did not miss this little doggie. Only I for some unknown reason keep getting up and shaking it off. Dear Lord I have become Wile E. Coyote Super Genius. I am a living cartoon. If only I was as thin as Wile E.
I have moved into the land of children. I have been caring for a five year old who‘s mother is critically ill. This child is bright, verbal and beautiful. She also likes cats and they like her although they have taken to hiding under the bed. The child is not deterred by this she just crawls under the bed and drags them out. So far no biting or scratching on either’s part.
I have learned so much about being a mommy. First to all you moms are the unsung heroes of the world. How on earth do you get dressed for work and then dress a child? How do you manage to feed them? Then add cuddling, reading books, drying tears and unconditional love? YIKES!
Also this Sponge Bob Square Pants thing… I mean are the people who write this stuff stoned? There is a pet snail Gary that meows like a cat? Sponge Bob and Gary talk to each other by the way. Sandy Cheeks a squirrel from Texas who lives in a dome and walks around in a wet suit because she needs to breathe air. Did I mention that Sponge Bob has the hots for her? I think he has the hots how can you tell with a sponge that wears tighty whities? Sponge Bob has a job! He is a fry cook. How the hell can you be a fry cook under water? What is a Krabby Patty? In Bikini Bottom no one drive cars, did you know you can parallel park a boat?
I think okay I am good with this I will allow the child to enjoy this left over acid trip from the 60’s. Yet, I was to learn so much more. This Hannah Montana thing... She is a famous singer but no one knows her secret identity. Sure they don’t. What makes Hannah amazing is merchandising. I have been exposed to sugary foul smelling personal hygiene products. Shampoo, lip gloss, body wash, hand soap and a tooth brush. Now add to that apparel and you can spend thousands. If you are interested there is also a Hannah Montana wig for purchase for your lovely little girl. I have learned the word “No” and can resist whining. A mom gift that is given and thank God for it!
A few other things to know about the dining habits of the five year old:
Blue Box Macaroni
Pepperoni Pizza
Grape Juice
Pudding in little cups
Hot dog
Tater Tots
Apples if appropriately peeled and cut
Grapes
Blueberries
Ice-cream with sprinkles is a winner too
I then had to deal with the reality of all of this. The child’s mother is very ill and may not survive. It has brought home that the reality of life. My gram told me tomorrow is not promised. That tomorrow has a far reaching effect. Through a five year old’s eyes I have learned so much about life.
The dark is really scary to a child. For adults we are also frightened of the dark. I think of the dark as the unknown. Crying is necessary if you are sad, hurt or mad. We all need to cry more. A kiss can really make it all better. Cuddling is sometimes the best form of communication (you do not need to talk while you cuddle). Running and climbing is good for you. Early bed times are helpful to everyone (try it go to bed at 8:30 PM). Telling your mom you love her will make her feel better.
The wisdom of a child’s mind is without question. I am world-weary. I can reflect on things that I have not looked at in so long (I haven’t been five in a few decades). If I try really hard I can embrace what life has given me.
First let me thank the friends who remind me that there is nothing that I cannot do when I choose too. Yes, you are right (you can put that on your calendar). Okay, perhaps I am a good writer and I am very expressive. Yes, I am a beautiful woman (I am making a face as I type this but I am working on it). I do under estimate myself often but I am getting better. Yes, I know that if a man doesn’t realize how special I am kick him to the curb and move on (no matter how cute, perplexing or how good the sex is)! When you wipe away years of cynical viewpoint things look so much better.
I would recommend, cuddling, blue box mac and a little Sponge Bob. Make sure to find a child to help you. Trust me they will tell you when you are being sad, mean or a poopy head.
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