I am a homeowner! Well that is rather misleading. I have a signed my name more than Bobbie Brown has DUIs BUT for all intensive purpose I am renting from a bank and am in charge of the upkeep of my personal mortgaged estate. I like the term mortgaged estate. The term makes it all seem strangely elegant in a regency short of way.
I spent the last two days in the park (sounds better than yard). I tended the water feature. What would an estate be without a fountain? All in all I am gratified by this! I however cannot lift my arms over my head and putting on a bra was beyond difficult. I see many minutes in the hot tub this evening.
Back to the park. I have been told by many that I have a proclivity for making things grow before you think how hard is that allow me to explain. I am mother earth and bring forth fertility and bounty. I am a walking cornucopia. This all started with house plants. I can grow a forest in a pot. I had a poinsettia that lived for five years and grew to the size of a small tree. It would also turn red but only in July. Maybe it was like me bucking the system set in place to keep us moving in a timely and acceptable fashion? Fight the Powers that Be!!
I have a lovely water feature. This started while watching Home and Garden TV. I watch a program on how to build your own back yard “Water Feature”. I call it the pond. This sounded relatively easy. I could get a kit for $160, some gravel, a little sand and you are good to go. Alas, if you watch such television I advise you to ignore the project. All I will add is nothing is that simple. It wasn’t anywhere near simple. Let us not forget cost. The cost is never ending.
After sever back breaking labor and the help of friends who did not a have a clue about a water feature (ignorance loves company) I heard the sound of water from the wonderful nozzle head of the fountain. Ah, so lovely sitting on the deck looking at the 6’x6’ 5’ deep pond. Ah, what joy? Did I stop there? No, that would have been too much like right. I then found the dark side…water gardening.
I first thought lily pads would be lovely. Yes, Lilies. I jump on the internet and find all varieties of aquatic plants. I invest in a basket, clay and more rocks and planted a lily. It thrives does well and blooms all the time. Yeah! How hard can this be?
Then there came the sickness. The green darkness... Green pea soup water. What had I done wrong? How could my bastion of peace and clearness turn into mucky backwater? What to do? Ah, too much sunlight (like I can stop that small fact) and nitrogen. What to do? Back to the internet… plants… float plants lots of them. Water lettuce, water hyacinths and duck weed… We have moved to murky from pea soup. Now add a few bacteria.
Yes, bacteria, there is good bacteria that is required to keep ones water feature pristine. Once weekly I make a brown sludge and dump it in. I am now in water feature euphoria. Still the dark side beckons. What else could a single woman with three cats need? Fish.
I went to Walmart picked up three inexpensive fish and dropped them in. They lived except one. His lost was greatly felt. I buried him under my cucumber plant. The plant did very well. To go with the mother earth theme this one plant supplied three families with cucumbers for a summer. Still something amazing happened in the spring. I moved from having two fish to having seven fish. Again back to the internet. How could this have happened? I may not date a lot but I know how it happened.
Now I have seven fish that was at the end of October last year when I winterized the pond. Guess what happened? I know you will never guess I will tell you. MORE FLIPP’N FISH BABIES! Now mind you I have nothing against proliferation but why is it that my fish are getting more than I am? Heavy Sigh…I am now moving back to my normal calm state of being.
I then went back to the internet and found a plan for a new mechanical filter. A mechanical filter is an underwater device that can cost hundreds of dollars. I constructed mine for about $50. A file crate, lava rock and some sponge material and you have got a 2200 gallon mechanical filter. This keeps the water clear, assists the healthy bacteria and filters fish waste (I have large amounts of fish poop). I could have gone bigger but to be honest I do not want clear happy water. I think it give my fish ideas! Gee, I wonder if this is all incestuous in the pond? Moving on…. This is rather disturbing.
You may ask what next for the mortgaged estate of BCarol. Easy I will move onto herbs. All herbs will be of a legal variety and fragrant…assorted mints, basil, lavender, and other herbs. They will look lovely in the new herb bed with the lilac, morning glories and moon flowers… my own little garden of BCarol. Wouldn’t the bank be ever so proud of their estate?
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