The new Dior Ultra –gloss for $25 or The ultimate do’s and don’ts of sex with great skin!

I am one of many millions of women who subscribed to magazines. I am not talking about the Good Housekeeping type of publication but the fashion and shoes type of magazine. As I curled up for my guilt-ridden pleasure something rather odd happened… I became personally guilt ridden. This guilt did no arise from the need for shoes that cost more than my car payment. Not from the want of shiny things that could adorn my deserving body. Not even from the thought that $40 isn’t really too much for a fantastic lipstick.

It came from the articles in this piece of journalism! I am a college educated, employed, tax paying, convertible driving, church going, attractive woman of the 21st century. Listing this I feel damn good about me BUT when you add the magazine portion I feel rather uninspiring or even dare I say it lackluster?

Why? I first learned that my skin is not better, my hair is not sexy and I should stress less. The publisher got me on the last one… I whole heartily agree with the stress angle. As I look at the air brushed teenaged representation I thought who the hell on earth will ever have better skin like that. Okay, I am not teenager (In mathematical terms my age is something in the ball park of 1,800√) and no one is going to airbrush me while I walk around my lovely berg.

I felt guilty for unrealistic expectations place on me by the media that I willingly paid for. I gave some corporation money to think gee maybe if I have some plastic surgery men will love me, I will get the promotion and maybe I could the next Condi Rice… Ewww... at the last point!

I stopped and thought not likely so I moved onto sexy hair. What is sexy hair? I mean is there some kind of measurement that I have missed? Maybe I was not invited to the sexy hair support group?

Sexy
Main Entry: sexy
Pronunciation: \sek-sē\
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): sex·i·er; sex·i·est
Date: 1925
1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating : erotic
2 : generally attractive or interesting : appealing
— sex·i·ly \-sə-lē\ adverb
— sex·i·ness \-sē-nəs\ noun

Hmm…. Stimulating and suggestive? Remember when all you wanted was bouncing and behaving hair? Remember “Gee your hairs smells terrific” now I must make it an extension of sexual nature. How does one stimulate with one’s hair? Do you spray it with methamphetamines? Is their a special shampoo or cosmologist? No it is all about these little diagrams that show you how to wash, comb and finish your coiffure.

I know again that I do not have the hair of a model and I do not have a group of highly trained professionals around me to make all these steps work. Alas, I am doomed to not be sexy about my crown so I guess that Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) will never look at me and say “your hair is sexy and I feel stimulated.” Low self-esteem has attacked now. If this is what I am to be then I am lost and will never be the success that society deems necessary for a woman.

I strike out on skin and hair. What is left? Now there is the question of the century! My sexual prowess. The ultimate do’s and don’ts of sex behind closed doors. Yikes! So I take a deep breath and think how bad could this be? I was aware of fashion dos and don’ts but sexual? This is not a magazine written by professional therapists or psychiatrists but by a group of fashionistas.

What did I learn? I am rather dull. I am pretty cautious (this is why I do not have any STD’s). I now understand the rate of STD infections in America. I also know that what I do or do not do is no ones affair except my own and that of my partners. Oh and by the way I say live and let live but there are some real freaks out there. It is a jungle out there and some feel the need to bring the animals home.

I know that Gray Dourdan will not show up on my doorstep and we will never meet in any social situation. I know that I will never look like any of the airbrushed hotties in any magazine. My hair will never be a point of sex prowess. My skin… will never be better. It will get older. It will continue to cover my body (its original purpose). My skin will tell be when I am in good health and bad health.

The greatest thing about my skin is that I am very comfortable in it. I will not subscribe to glib fashion magazines anymore… no not true. I will subscribe but I will read them with the seriousness they deserve.

As far as making me a better woman I put that in the same ballpark as Christian Louboutin shoes. These shoes run around $800. I will never own a pair and what the hell do I need them for? They are only an outward symbol of what is thought to be stunning and beautiful. You cannot put a price tag on beauty and you cannot create it. Either you have it or you don’t. I think that I have it but not in a prepackaged manner.

Did you see the new Dior Ultra –gloss for $25?

I have a guilty secret. I am ashamed of it and share it with few. Today I announce it to the world...

I have a guilty secret. I am ashamed of it and share it with few. Today I announce it to the world through my blog. What is the secret? Animation. I have loved it since I was a child. I adore it. The Warner Brothers Golden Age...The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show… who couldn’t love the idiot Dudley Do-Right. Today I would like to take a logical bent on my hidden secret guilty pleasure.

What I learned from Batman and how it has affected my life!

What has started this? Batman: The Animated Series. This is one of my favorites. It is so dark and brooding. A wealthy man as a private vigilantly that saves Gotham from all the evils that abound. Mind you there is a shit load of evil in the city of Gotham.

My first question if you have a secret identity who makes and maintains your costume? Do you have a seamstress at your beckon call? Does she or he keep the secret? Maybe you should learn to sew before moving forward in this endeavor? Do the tights chaff? It is difficult to find a good stylist how on earth do you find someone to launder your costume? Is it wash and wear?

What about the Bat Mobile? I think that it is a custom job. Now mind you Bruce Wayne is a multi-billionaire BUT who do you get to change the oil and what if you get a flat? Can you call triple A? Is there a special mechanic? I know when my car needs work it is a $450 investment (at least) and I can find someone to do the work. What happens if you have this super car that does everything? Who do you call? What kind of gas mileage does the Bat Mobile get anyway?

What did I learn? Finding a stylist, a mechanic, clothing and having my laundry done is not as hard as it once seemed.

Now lets start with the villains that will explain why Gotham is not a place to move your family and children.

The Joker: A man falls into a vat of chemicals. When he surfaces he has chalk-white skin, red lips, and green hair. This drives (all be it a very short drive) the Joker insane.

Clay Face: Matt Hagen, an actor who is disfigured in an accident. While recovering, he is approached by Roland Daggett, who offers him a compound called "Renuyu" Daggett promises he will immediately restore Hagen’s looks. The price? Hagen must impersonate people. Hagen would refuse BUT the Renuyu chemical is extremely addictive. Hagen, tries to steal Renuyu. Hagan is found and overdoses on the compound. He does not die but ends up as a lump of clay with arms and legs and able to remake himself into any shape.

Mr. Freeze: A scientist whose designs a freeze treatment for his wife Nora who is dying. The treatment backfires he is covered with cryogenic chemicals. The result is he needs sub-zero temperatures to survive.

Now I am not a scientist, biologist, weapon manufacturer or doctor BUT it seems to me that the biochemical bent runs strong in the city of Gotham. If you are looking for work these industries are available but the side effects? I mean I do not like my body but it beats the hell out of looking like a pile of clay on a potter’s wheel.

What did I learn? Do not study the hard sciences if your only employment opportunity requires form changing chemical compounds, cryogenics, or vats of anything that could cause personal damage. Also do not date men who fit the above qualifications. Hi honey how was your day? Why is your hair green and you have this really peculiar and maniacal laugh. Not a good sign for a lasting relationship

I know that this is all fiction. I know that this is a world of imagination. I know that I am a reasonable well-educated individual who has read Shakespeare, Chaucer and Euripides. I love Dorothy Parker and the Algonquin Round Table. Still there is much to be learned from my childhood pleasure.

Did not centuries of people learn from Aesop's Fables? Brings new meaning to Aesop and son and Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman…. Rocky and Bullwinkle… hmmm on my way to AOL Video for a little enlightenment and a laugh or two or three….

You are not a pretty girl have some sugar cookies with red sprinkles and a tangerine

I took this week off! This is a monumental thing. I assume upon my return that I will pay for this privilege. First and foremost I am feeling rested after one day. Okay so I started on Friday night. So far I have not been asked questions that are emotionally draining, require mental agility, some kind of mentoring or requires me to wear strips and through yellow hankies about. Good thing too stripes are so unbecoming no matter who you are.

Today was choir rehearsal. Yes, I sing in choir and no it does not require vodka-based beverages. The church I attend sells Christmas Trees for the holidays. As I walked through the tree lot I had a brief moment of my childhood reappear. It was fascinating. Why? Because I am one of the many without a home... after 40 years of marital bliss (this is dripping with sarcasm) my parental units divorced. They sold the house and now I haven’t any home to go too.

Before you think awww pooooor BCarol let me explain. My parents cared for me, provided for me, educated me, corrected me, made sure that I had strait teeth and would make something of myself. Notice love was not the first, second or the third item listed. I know that my parents loved me as much as they were able.

I will admit openly that I was a peculiar child. I was artsy, did not handle apprehension well and was very tactile. These are not things that my parents were prepared for then again what parent is? My parents are very matter of fact and did their best to prepare me for all my shortcomings.

I was informed, “you are not a pretty girl” that bell ringer happened around 12 years of age. 12-year-old girls are so secure that this had little effect on my self-esteem and self-image. If I should find my self-esteem I am sure that it is unaffected. There was the ever popular “what is wrong with you”, “you go to school to learn not to be happy”. I slowly moved into the land of apathy and stopped caring about much of anything. Still there are things that I remember of my childhood that brings back good memories.

This brings me back to the tree lot. The smell of pine…lead to thoughts of boxes from grandma, silly Christmas specials and the lights on the tree that gave the living room a magical quality. Sugar cookies with red sprinkles and tangerines. Going to my grandmothers and going downtown to the parade to see the jolly old man himself on a huge float carrying in the holiday season.

As a child it was all so miraculous...the burning excitement of it all. Now as an adult I look at Christmas differently. As we rehearsed the Ukrainian Bell Carol tonight I could close my eyes and see my Christmases of years gone by. I could hear my gran’s clear as day. I could remember all that was. I have my own ghost of Christmas Past. It is a sweet and tender spirit that only brings comfort to a cynical old woman. So what is a woman with a spirit, three cats and no home to do for another holiday season? Be apathetic? Lament the fact that I do not have a home? Eat worms?

This is the point of tonight’s rant! Ready? Okay here it comes. I will find comfort in those around me and within myself. Christmas lights can still make a living room look magical. Rudolph and the Grinch still make me chuckle. I love sugar cookies and will make them in my own home, in my own kitchen anyway I want. I do not have children but I have three cats that will cause all kinds of mischief with a tree covered in shiny things that can be batted about. I will share with friends my love of Christmas music, my fireplace and a mug of something hot. I will attend church and focus on my life and how all things affect my faith and belief in God.

These are not earth shattering gifts. I mean how can the above compare to a Nintendo Wii? Still I know that like Scrooge…

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. - A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

Ode to the best icing on the planet...

Today I am in good spirits. I feel at peace with where I am. I know God has more to do with this than anything else BUT every now and then you meet a person who can give you insight, a kind word, a hard edged when needed and a wicked streak of humor. I have been so blessed to know this person and can call on her during any crisis, joy or mind numbing anger.

I know many of you understand and many of you don’t. I speak of a person who knows all and still gives me her unconditional friendship. I call her angelic for she is truly a spiritually and compassionate soul. My friend would argue with great vehemence but it is still so very true. As I journey through my dark night of the soul she stands ready with advice, wise silence and Ben and Jerry’s (yes the last is a girl thing).

Her advice? Sounds like you need to cleanse. We are both practicing Christians BUT we both have a very strong belief that some how all the world is connected. She is the person who helped me cleanse my house with white sage and seal it with sweet grass. She is the person who was with me when all hope was lost in my life. My family was in chaos, my job non-existent and my life in serious peril. She some how gave me the energy to keep moving forward. I am not sure how but it is a debt that I will never be able to repay.

Today for the first time in many moons I felt as if I could find my way... her insight her intuitiveness... has aided in the first steps of my journey… out of this abyss that I call my faith.

Before you think that my friend is perfect she is not. She does enjoy a vodka-based beverage for medicinal purposes only. She also fights daily with the need for the perfect 10 body (okay maybe she would be happy with an 8). Life gets in the way of what she enjoys doing. She says really inappropriate things during church service that makes me laugh and also wonder does God really do that lightning bolt thing? So far so good but you never know.

The reason I write this is so that she will know how highly I think of her. How much I appreciate her wit. To know that there are things that are plain wrong and that she hasn’t a clue as to what is going on either. To know that she laughs as much as I do when we are out and about and someone calls us girls (yes those days are long since over). To know that the disappointments I suffer will never be alone.

So here is to you! Cheers! Shalom! God Bless! From your renewed friend who has followed your advice:

I have burned white sage and sweet grass for my spirit.
I have cleansed my charkas with intensity.
I have continued in the never ending less then fun task of working out.
I have learned that I have a big girl job with a big girl desk and I have pulled up my big girl panties and am dealing with it.
I know that if a man is involved just run because it is going to odd, difficult or just F#*&$(% bizarre.
Pray, pray and pray again. Did she mention prayer? I am praying… Always…

All in all to use a line from a musical “now there’s an upright broad” I think that covers it!

Did I mention that she makes the best icing on the planet?

financial advisors, the Brontosaurus and dating advice

I purchased a home about three years ago. An investment as my financial advisor suggested. Me being naïve I thought whom in the world would give me money for a house. Sadly, they were lining up. No debt load a good credit… Who knew? I am now the owner (I consider it renting from a mortgage company without any maintenance support) of a three-bedroom 1 and ½ bath two story.

I understand with the purchase of a home you gain many things good and bad. Leaks, broken things and the never ending money sucking sound that a home of your own creates. I however gain something totally unexpected. I gained a little boy. Now this is new territory for me. I do not have children and the male of the species has always been problematic for me. Still this child of 4 and ½ when we met was something beyond words.

Not beyond words. He has a vocabulary that is really advanced. An example the boy(as I will refer to him) asked me what are your cats names? I answered Zoey, Topaz and Jupiter. His response… Why did you name him after a planet? Well excuse me. I was unaware that small children had a grasp of the solar system. I am okay with that but there was more to come.

Ah, the joy of the dinosaur. Brontosaurus was the largest dinosaur to live on land. That they were bigger than my house... They were herbivorous they only ate fruits and vegetables, had body armor and a really long tail but they are all dead now because a big rock ran into the earth and killed them all like a big bomb. I do not know about you but at 4 or 5 I was still working on the C is for Cookie song on Sesame Street. I was also informed that if you keep Rolly Polly bugs in your pocket make sure you get them out before your mom does your laundry. You get in really big trouble and you go to bed early too.

Now I would like to share the wisdom of the boy. The boy feels that it is not healthy for me to live alone. If I get sick who will make me Jello? This is a sensible question. Having just had a serious illness there is merit to this point. However, I did not feel the need to follow the boys dating, courtship and marriage advice.

The boy over heard me talking to his mother about my current romantic endeavors. I shared that I have looked under every rock in Midwest looking for a suitable man. The boy jumped in at this point leaving his sidewalk chalk behind (he was working on some kind of dinosaur pictorial arranged by sub-species). The boy looked at me as if I was stupid, inept and plain silly. He then took a deep breath and explained that men do not live under rocks. Men live in houses. I need to find a man in a house and make sure he lives alone. This is the first sound romantic advice I have had in some time.

Now if I like the man and he likes me then we can get married. Wow how simple is that. I had this fear filled vision of the boy casing neighborhoods all over town looking for a single man in a house and asking would you like to meet my neighbor lady next door? She is nice has three cats and gives me Popsicles all summer. She works in her yard and if the ice cream man comes by she will buy. She doesn’t know much about bugs and dinosaurs though. The last statement is so sad but true.

Last year Christmas came rolling in. The boy informed me that moon sand comes in colors. Firstly what the hell is moon sand? Not daunted by this I went in a moment of insanity to Toys are Us. Okay for those of you without children this is a scene of terror beyond words. Parents looking wildly for toys that do a myriad of things from running in circles, requiring heavy layers of whoreish make-up and make noises that would drive Sister Teresa to drink heavily. Grandparents looking lost and wondering how a little piece of plastic can cost so much?

I however prevailed and found the moon sand in colors. Oh joy of joys moon sand. I got the last one! There was a mom who was behind me who was almost in tears for she had been on the quest for colored moon sand all day. I did not give up my new found treasure… honestly she was on her own.

What was my gain for this endeavor? I made a little boy very happy and received a personally hand made and designed Christmas card attached to an oddly wrapped box (he wanted to wrap it himself). The box contained four crystal martini glasses.

Know that I will be in Toys are Us once again this year. I have not a clue looking for what but I will find it. This is a guarantee.

So my journey begins....

I am experiencing something called the “dark night of the soul”. I did not make up this term nor invent it. This term or description was given to me by a former pastor who I greatly respect and have found comforting guidance from. Yes, even those who rant need comforting.

I have been described by many as an old soul or a wise soul. I have been labeled intuitive, empathic and at times physic. I can say for all of these “supposed” gifts I find myself exhausted. I find that this exhaustion has moved to encompass my physical life and now enters my spiritual life. I find that an exhausted spirit finds little to be joyful. I am a person who could (if asked 6 months ago can) embrace the serenity and beauty of the smallest thing.

In the spring I planted an assortment of morning glories and moonflowers along a fence in my garden. The reason was I love morning glories and the intense purple and the seer numbers of blooms brought me joy. Simple right? I think so. Before I could get in the car and start thinking of the day ahead I could take a moment and embrace a very small miracle created in my own household universe. Yes, a small but a very bright light to my soul.

Now I find that not even the smallest light can bring any solace. This darkness has no end. There isn’t any sound, scent or other being. It is mine alone and is unabled to be shared. Now back to the pastor moment. I was told that God gives all of us this time of darkness to reflect and listen to what it is we are to do. This is the time to stop. Stopping means letting God have control. Stop trying to fix what is wrong or what you think to be right. Listen quietly, patiently and all will become clear.

I am not a patient soul. Waiting has never been a strength. I prayed once to learn patience. It was the longest three years of my life. A prayer that I have never repeated and trust me never will again. You must be careful for what you pray…you just may have your prayer answered.

I find that God knows more than I can ever hope to but the mystery of it all has left me feeling isolated and frankly without care. If you have been reading my written babbles you will know that I care about just everything and everyone. I however seem to lack care for myself. I find daily that I feed those around me with emotion and support. I give small parts of myself away daily without asking for anything in return. That is only right in my view of life…I find that I give more than I receive. I am running out of pieces with rapidity. Does this mean the end of my existence when there is nothing left to give?

Exhaustion and an exceedingly dark void… here I sit float or exist in this void. Waiting for God to tell me what is next. Waiting with open mind and spirit not trying to make my world into what I deem as acceptable but what God deems it.

Afraid? Me? No make that terrified! Doing this alone, nothing new. Maybe this is the time when stripped of all comforters I may find a direction in God’s plan. Maybe for once I would like to be insightful enough to understand without having to pay the costly price? God is not of instant gratification. God is not always kind in his lessons. However with faith an answer will come. So my journey begins....

without rants.......

Theft, greed, adultery, and medicinal vodka based beverages

I was questioned today on how I could attend church, believe in God and drink medicinal vodka based beverages. Now I understand that the truly moral among you may find this difficult to comprehend BUT here it is. I am not perfect. Yikes, who knew!

I take my faith with extreme seriousness. I take anyone’s faith with extreme seriousness. If you are Christian great... If you are Jewish great... If you are Hindu great... If you are whatever great... I am greatly concerned with cults/churches/organizations that require the drinking of poisons and the need to kill or maim but other than that I can work with it.

The point is I trust God to give humanity the tools to figure it out. We all agree murder is not a positive nor is theft, greed, adultery, and jealousy the list goes on and on. My question and I hope one day God will enlighten me is why so many versions of the same thing?

I know that I am of limited mind. I know that string theory exists and that all matter is connected by a string (think of the poor parents that spent thousands on a child’s education that produced only theory and does not offer any kind of income or anything concrete for that matter). I know that the earth rotates around the sun. As little as 400 years ago that was in question. Less time than that we had no idea about matter or fusion or radioactivity.

So why in this age of the 21st century do we think we have all the answers to faith and God? We are still not sure how a virus survives and self replicates. Is it the human nature to be vain and self centered? The bible says that the Lord created the heavens and earth in six days. Here is the question that will rock your world.

HOW LONG IS A GOD DAY?

Now I assume if God can perform miracles and create existence from nothing a day for God could last a millennium. Maybe I am thinking outside the box here but are humans just not looking at the big picture? Now if I can create a universe I would think that linier time is not something that would give me any concern. I just snapped together a universe I think I could control a watch too. Does this sound simplistic? Does this sound radical? Maybe but I find that the more I think the more I understand the limits of my mind.

I do believe that God made us in his own image. Now do I think that we are the whole of God? No we are only one simple piece. We are like a really great pie. Flaky and light… Sweet and tart… baked to a delicious color... still all in all we are only one piece. I am not wise enough to think that I am more or that anyone else is more than that one simple piece of creation. I can delve in my faith and think.

Now I can drink medicinal vodka based beverages. I do not drink excess. I do not drink and drive. I do not force others into medicinal vodka based beverages or any type of medicinal beverages for that matter. However, after a very long day of listening to religious zealots and those who know God personally I find a medicinal vodka based beverages is warranted and even more so appreciated.

I know rant, rant, rant and even more mystified….

White tea flavored with honeysuckle

I was sitting with a friend today enjoying a white tea flavored with honeysuckle. The setting my favorite book store. The mood was quite calm. The subject was me. Now I would find the subject rather boring and frankly convoluted. I consider myself intelligent but a topic of discussion I am not. I am a woman of many strong opinions and not scared to share them but I find that the emotional aspects of my person are far removed from my everyday persona.

Ah yes, the persona, the guise and pretext. I openly admit my insecurity to those who I trust. Mind you there are few, very few… People tend to think me secure, dedicated, able to handle all life sends whizzing my way. I rise to the occasion. I can communicate with great directness what the point is. I do not waste time on feigning interest (something I need to work on). This makes me somewhat of a pariah in my current career path (I belong to the lets all think, dress and look alike company). I am not getting any closer to the fore mentioned by the way.

If I have something to say I say it. I am honest but not unkind. If I want to be an acquaintance you will know. If I think highly of your wit, candor, intellect and humor I will listen to you with intensity. I will seek you out. You will find that I do not mention education, money or position as a measurement. I have known many a fool with a PhD. I have known many a half-wit with a great title. I have met many a wealthy person who could not fight their way out of a wet paper bag. Paris Hilton could not find her… you know what the finish of the statement is. However, I am sure that there is a picture of it posted somewhere on the web.

While sipping tea I had an epiphany. No not of the religious nature but of intuitive type... I chose the person that I am. What do I choose? First the consensus was made that I am a woman who will not be walked over (I will stand my ground). I am more giving then anyone imagines. I feel deeply but do not allow it to affect the everyday. I need time alone to decompress and recover from the energy extremes around me. I am tactile. I try desperately not to judge others (that is a job for God and I feel it is highly overrated).

I know that my faith has carried me and will sustain me. I know that faith is about the unknown. If God wanted us to have a complete step by step guide we would have it. We have bits and pieces. Books of the bible that where chosen for us (research it… very interesting).

Okay! What does all this mean? Not a damn thing. What I have found is that I am far harder on myself then need be. I am critical, listened and took to heart all the negative information and emotion I was fed during my youth. Now I am constantly learning that I am a pretty cool person in a rather unorthodox way. I have a flair for the subjects that intrigue. I detest those who will not listen to others. I have a personal style that is all my own and not copied. High heels and the female trappings are something I excel at.

Hmmmm… What else have I learned? A blog is ever so much less expensive then a therapist, medication and heavy drinking. I am phenomenal, I think there are many who would agree.

Albert Einstein, baby boomers and why the Nazi’s Failed

Albert Einstein, baby boomers and why the Nazi’s Failed


"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
Albert Einstein

I have always wondered what would have happened if the Nazi’s had not come to power? I think of the change in power and balance. Would the space race have happened between America and the Soviet Union? Maybe it would have been Germany and some other country? Albert was erased from Germany due to the fact that he was a Jew. Think of the opportunities lost by Germany because of the choice of choosing by luck of birth who is acceptable and who is not.

The quote rings true to me more and more as I age. Why? I have found with age that what is perceived as important changes with age. I see more of gray then any other color. I ask why as the country ages (you baby boomers that we hear so much about) you would think that moderation would run through out all aspects of life but it doesn’t.

In America mediocrity seems to be embraced. Only in America can a corporate leader gain 200 million for not doing a job suitably. Isn’t the expectation to be rewarded for achievement? If you do not achieve then you do not get paid. So very simple…As I think about the grunts at the bottom of the heap (yes that is me too) I understand the irony of mediocrity. I think this is the affect/effect of having shit roll down hill on you during your entire work day.

What happened to American? What happened to being the trail blazer? Simple. It takes work and effort. The kind of expenditure of energy that is not of value today... Let’s start with reading. I am not taking about specialized books related to work. How to be a better manager, how to take over the world, who took my money and why can’t I have it back books but books of thought and insight... I had a professor in college who asked me was Jesus a socialist, a communist, or a maoist. How should I know? I mean where is that written in my text book? Will this be on the final?

What I learned from this professor is that there are no wrong answers to the question. There is your viewpoint or opinion. The only challenge was for you to support it. “Because I said so” is not an acceptable answer. In order to formulate a response you must reason, support reason and have an idea of the nuisances of the political. Before you can put pen to paper (or move electric impulses) you must have an idea. An individual idea... Not something someone told you but what the synapses in your brain fired.

In education we look for a trade school and not liberal thought. Okay for you conservatives out there a meaning of liberal.

Liberal: broad-minded; especially: not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or traditional forms. Thinking outside the box… our successful forefathers and mothers did not limit their selves. They did not need an MBA to be listened too. Did they manage business without the assistance of a text book? Even failure was acceptable. Henry Ford did not get it right the first or second time. He kept at it until he won. Mind you no one offered him 200 million for failure. Do not get me wrong Ford was an anti-Semite who was a SOB about diversity, fairness and the environment but he changed America and the world forever and he did not have a degree.

So what have we lost as Americans? The ability to address a problem directly and coming up with a workable solution in real time. Not accepting what is before us without question. Using our originality without condoning it. Letting a person grow in their own way. Embrace the differences. Look beyond your own desk, cubicle, and office. Dare to question. Accept nothing at face value. Look to the free will God has given, see that this country was founded on the principal of liberty. Both are the greatest gifts. My question is why don’t we use these very precious gifts?

I know rant, rant, rant, rant…….

Control, Warm Blankets and Slavery

I have control issues. I mean CONTROL issues. I am a woman who demands little of others but demands perfection and a specific expectable timetable of actions. Now this may come across as a little frightening to the weak of heart (you know who you are) but to me this makes complete and rational sense.

Busy is the key word of life. I have a career (I use the term loosely) that never stops. Volunteer commitments that never end and a family with the ability to suck the emotional life out of me… IE I must have control of something… anything. Things I cannot control well honestly that is everything. This allusion of control that I have is like a warm blanket it gives me comfort but will not give me serenity.

Control can mean many things. First and foremost is my control of others (nonexistent). This is done not through my personal action but through others ability to communicate. If you like me say so. If you hate me say so. If you don’t like my opinion say so. If you think you want to ask me out say so (if you want more lets start negotiations). If you don’t like my religion, politics, looks, choice of words get over it and find some one else who you might wish to associate. Yes, control….

Now this may come across as harsh. After rereading the above it sounds harsh BUT it isn’t. I think before I speak. I look at the ramifications of my actions. Hell, I am just plain paranoid. In this PC world it is better to be thought intolerant then to speak and prove it? I am no longer sure if the words I use are correct. Words convey power. If I answer that “upsets” me. Is that the same as using angry livid or furious? No it isn’t. What about love, passion, longing and adore? When you look at your lover do you see love or deep seated mind blowing passion?

Today in the day of the 10 second sound clip and USA Today words have lost their value. I know that Dickens was a little verbose but you could picture an entire world from his use and combination of words. Hemmingway could write you to the point of thirst or longing. Now that is control. Novel idea isn’t it (no pun intended). Control through the power of words. A little spin here a change of words there. You could rewrite world history with the change of a couple of adjectives and a colorful metaphor or two.

Let’s try it…a subject… slavery!

An accepted historical meaning
Slavery: a condition in which one human being was owned by another. A slave was considered by law as property, or chattel, and was deprived of most of the rights ordinarily held by free persons.

The new and improved spin…
Slavery: a great individual opportunity for those without direction to use the ability of others to make choices to improve the overall effectiveness and profitability of the current economy. Work with serenity of mind and never worry about tomorrow.

Hmmm, interesting… now that is control. Maybe we should all read a little more and ask one or two questions before accepting the printed word as fact?

State Sanctioned Religion, Jane Austin and Common Courtesy

The mad ravings of a soul looking for inner peace… Today I was sitting quietly after another dutiful week of work and other duties as assigned. This means laundry and scooping kitty litter. I realized that I have spoken little of what runs rampant through my mind. Okay, I have a degree in communications. I have a computer. I have little if any hindrance in using it. Ah, I will blog. Why? Well this format keeps me safe from the Religious Right, the Liberal Left, the Pro-lifers and the Pro-Choices. I am safe from the distinction of color and physical appearance. Hey, I can call a spade a spade. Where else can you do that?

Why am I lost in Middle America? I have yet to find my way in this bastion of free speech and religion. Odd isn’t it that the US Armed Forces are currently fighting/policing/warring/invading (pick whichever works for you) in a country that is moving away from a theocracy only to come home to a country where the lines of church and state are becoming less and less clear? It seems to me that a group of insane men woman and children moved to God Forsaken North America to worship as they chose. Something about a state sanctioned religion really pissed them off. You know King and Head of the Church of England. Now I find that if you are not a Christian go back to your country and stay out of ours.

Who the hell are “your” and who the hell are “our” and who’s country are they going back too? I know you will find it difficult but isn’t that a little short sighted? I know that there are extremes on both ends. You can be an extremist in any belief. Christian or Muslim. White or Black. Liberal or Conservative. Straight or Gay. God through us into this mess with the hope that maybe we could work it out.

Sadly all we have managed to do is be angry, full of our own personal needs and lacking in common courtesy. Now I will admit Jane Austin went a little over the top with social courtesy but would it be so damn hard to try a little. I always feel that I am in a war zone of life. Going to the grocery store it is challenging to return unscathed. So maybe Jane had it right hold your comments to the weather and everyone’s health. Hey it’s a start. Maybe we could learn to crawl before we walk?